


A Lost Hope And Hidden Feelings

by Cyelle



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 08:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16281413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyelle/pseuds/Cyelle
Summary: Happy birthday, Mamoru!! (although I'm pretty late!)





	A Lost Hope And Hidden Feelings

 

 

 

 

A series of rapid and urgent knocks on his door roused him from his deep but uneasy slumber.

“Mamoru? Are you awake?”

Koki’s voice, muffled by the door, reached the composer, who had fallen asleep slumped over his desk. He had been adding the finishing touches to Growth’s latest song and had stayed awake late into the night.

“The door’s open, Ko-kun; you can come in….” Mamoru managed a sleepy reply as he stretched himself to wake up his tired body. The creaking of the doorknob caused him to turn and stare at his leader, blinking confusedly. “Do we have any work today? I thought it was a day off….” He glanced at the calendar perched on his table, rapidly blinking awake as his sleepy brain registered the date.

_‘Wait, today is…’_

“Mamoru? You need to get ready soon; everyone has been called to report at the agency in an hour.” Koki’s apologetic words jolted him from his stupor. “E-Eh? But why?!” He stared blankly at the blond who chivvied him out of his chair and gently pushed him towards the bathroom. “Mochiduki-san said that there was some rescheduling of our jobs, so our day off has been pushed to tomorrow. Breakfast is on the table, so get ready quick, okay?”

 

 

Mamoru stared forlornly at his reflection in the mirror, feeling disappointment welling up from deep within him. _‘I wanted to spend today together with everyone; but Ko-kun didn’t seem to remember….’_ Wiping his face with the towel, he stepped out from the bathroom and walked to the kitchen.

“Good morning, Ken-kun, Ryo-kun! Oh, Mochiduki-san is here too! Good morning!” Mamoru greeted them with a cheerful smile, hiding all traces of his earlier negative emotions. Kensuke looked up from where he was draped over the couch and grinned. “Mornin’! Slept well?”

“Fix your hair, Mamoru; it’s a mess. And good morning,” Ryota said as he glanced over his cup of tea. “Haha, everyone is so energetic!” Mamoru said as he slid into his chair, just in time as Koki placed a plate of food in front of him.

“Oooh! It looks good; thanks for the food, Ko-kun!”

 

 

Once breakfast was over, the entire of Growth was seated on the couches, waiting for their manager to explain their schedule for the day. “I’m sorry this has to happen on your day off, everyone, but we had no choice but to reschedule everything. As in apology though, the president has allowed you all to have the next two days off,” Minato explained apologetically. “It’s okay, manager! We’ll do our best!” Kensuke exclaimed, earning nods from the others.

“Then your schedule for the day is like this: all four of you will report to the agency to complete the recording of your next album. After that Mamoru-san has a meeting with the president regarding the new songs; Ko-kun has a modeling job for a clothes brand; Ken-kun will be going to the site of his CM shooting to finish the last scene and Ryo-ken will go to the dress rehearsal of his next stage play. Staff from the agency will be driving you all to your destinations so that you won’t be late. Shall we be off, then?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Thanks for your hard work, Mamoru-kun; I’ll see you next week about the last of the songs!”

“Yes! I’ll do my best!”

 

 

Mamoru sighed as he closed the door to the president, Tsukino Mikoto’s office. _‘I’m glad I managed to finish most of the songs before the deadline. This way, I can take my time in making the best arrangements for everyone….’_

“Mamoru-san, good work! You have nothing else left to do today, so would you like to go back to the dorms?” Minato asked, having had waited for Mamoru at the agency. “Oh, Mochiduki-san! Thank you~ Are Ko-kun and the others done yet?” The manager shook his head, “No, they’ll take a few hours more. They should be done by late evening though!”

“Oh…then I guess I’ll go back to the dorms…” Mamoru looked disappointed, so Minato tried to cheer him up. “Ah, it’s okay! I’m sure they’ll be back soon! Would you like me to drive you back?”

Mamoru shook his head, “No, it’s nice out, so I’ll walk back~”

 

 

A few minutes later, Mamoru could be seen walking around on the streets, looking at the people around him. _‘I don’t want to go back to the dorm yet…it’s a bit lonely by myself…’_

The sweet scent of flowers made him pause, staring at the small flower shop just a few feet ahead. _‘Oh! I could go there; I haven’t been there in a while.’_

The florist looked up at the jingle of the bell. “Welcome! How can I help you?” she greeted the composer cheerfully. “Um…I’d like a bouquet please, using only white carnations,” requested Mamoru. “Would you like any decorations and cards to be attached?” The burgundy-haired male only shook his head, saying, “Just a white ribbon to hold it together; they liked simplicity.”

 

 

Half an hour later, Mamoru stood in front of a stone grave holding a bouquet of white flowers in his hands.

“It’s been a while, Mom, Dad.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kensuke stretched his arms, working out the stress in his muscles. “Ah~ That was way more tiring than usual!!” He complained to his friend. Ryota merely raised an eyebrow at him, before turning to look at Koki who had just returned from a phone call. “So, how did it go?”

“Mochiduki-san said that Mamoru is walking back to the dorms but he isn’t back yet. If we head back now, we should be able to finish the preparations for his party,” the blond leader answered. “But this is really unlucky; I know I wanted to surprise Mamoru but we’ve been separated for the whole day!” Kensuke whined, slumping over his chair in disappointment. “Then we should get back, shouldn’t we? If we want to surprise him before he comes back,” suggested Ryo.

“Yes!”

 

 

“By the way, Ko; did that special present of yours arrive yet?” Ryota asked as the three walked through the aisles of the shop, picking out ingredients for the party. “Yeah, you said you wanted to give him something really nice! What is it?” The green-eyed idol stared curiously at his leader.

Koki only gave them a small smile before proceeding to the counter to pay for their purchases, leaving the curious duo staring after him. “Damn…now I really want to know what he got for Mamoru,” Kensuke grumbled, Ryota nodding as he said, “For once, I agree with you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Mamoru knelt at the foot of his parents’ graves, having placed the flowers down earlier. “It’s my birthday today; I should be happy, right? But is it bad that I’m feeling sad? I just wanted to spend the day with everyone but this happened…I’m not sure if Ko-kun, Ryo-kun and Ken-kun remembered today; it didn’t seem like it at all….” He trailed off, looking up at the evening sky.

“Hey, Mom? Dad? Can I tell you a secret?” Mamoru looked down at the ground, his hands tightening around the grip on his clothes. “I…I think…no, I know; I know that this feeling is…love.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love this badly, but I think that this time, I won’t be able to get over it. I love him too much….” He clutched his chest tightly, tears streaming down his face. “I thought I could smile through it; that I could be happy just by being at his side, but it hurts so much! I want to be the one to make him smile, to make him happy…but I can’t tell him these feelings; I’m afraid it will change things too much…”

“I don’t want things to change; I don’t want it to become awkward…that’s why I’ll put on  a smile, I’ll hide these feelings…so that every day can be just as it was before.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kensuke looked at the clock, frowning. “Mamoru sure is late…I wonder where he went.”

“After all this work, if he doesn’t come back tonight…” muttered Ryota, a menacing aura surrounding him. “Hahaha….” Kensuke laughed nervously, before turning his head to look at Koki, who was standing on the balcony, looking down worriedly while trying to call Mamoru; it had gotten pretty dark and the composer wasn’t back yet.

“Any luck, Ko?” he asked, as the blond put down his phone. Koki only shook his head, looking upset. “I’m going to look for him.”

Kensuke and Ryota exchanged glances, the two knowing of Koki’s feelings for their fourth member. They were there, after all, when Koki realized that he loved Mamoru. It was them who encouraged him to confess, knowing that Mamoru felt the same despite trying to hide it. The only ones who didn’t realize it were the dense pair themselves.

“Wait, we’ll come too!”

 

Just as Koki placed his hand on the doorknob, the door swung open from the other side, revealing a surprised looking Mamoru.

“Ko-kun? Where are you going?”

An expression of relief crossed the leader’s face and he pulled the composer into a surprise hug. “K-Ko-kun?!” Mamoru blinked in confusion, even as his arms came up automatically to hug him back. “I was worried…you were gone long and you weren’t answering your phone.” The whispered words made the older man wince, knowing that he had made the others worry.

“Oi, Mamoru; just where did you go?”

The irritated mutter of Ryota reached his ears and he looked over Koki’s shoulder to see the remaining members of Growth standing a few feet away. Laughing nervously, he explained, “I, um…I went to visit my parents’ grave; since I hadn’t been there in a while….I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys!”

Koki finally pulled away, saying, “It’s okay, we’re glad you’re fine,” a small smile on his face. “Ko, you’re too soft on him~” Kensuke teased as he and Ryota headed into the common room, leaving Koki and Mamoru standing near the door.

Mamoru stared after them, a little dumbfounded. He turned to look at Koki, who was smiling a bit bemusedly. Feeling the other’s gaze on him, the leader of Growth gently pushed the composer towards the common room. “Ko-kun? What is it?” He only shook his head, gesturing that he should enter the room. _‘Huh..?’_

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

A series of pops startled Mamoru, confetti flying around him. “Eh?” He blinked, seeing Kensuke and Ryota holding party poppers, smiling at him. The common room was decorated with balloons and streamer, obviously for a party. “You guys…when did you…?” Mamoru trailed off, shocked that the others had gone to this extent and extremely happy that they did. Kensuke bounced over to him with a grin, throwing his arm around the other’s shoulders.

“We did it after we came back from work and since you weren’t there, we decided to surprise you!” Ryota continued, “You didn’t think we’d forget our precious composer’s birthday now, did you?” Mamoru sniffed, overwhelmed by the love he felt from his friends. “You guys…..thank you very much!”

“Mamoru.”

The aforementioned man turned around, to see Koki holding a cake in his hands and a smile on his face.

“Happy birthday.”

 

“Make a wish, Mamoru!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Time for presents~!” Kensuke sang as he pushed the composer onto the couch and pressed a big package into his hands. “Open mine first!” Carefully pulling apart the wrapping paper, Mamoru peeked inside to find a box containing a pair of sleek black headphones, with purple highlights. “Uwaah! It looks so amazing! Thank you, Ken-kun!” The blue-haired idol rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and said, “I noticed you always used that old pair and when I saw this in the shop, I knew I had to get you these!”

 

Ryota went next, handing him a bag. “Here. Happy birthday, Mamoru.”  Accepting the present, the composer pulled out a binder, decorated with intricate patterns. “So pretty! I’ll remember you when I use it, Ryo-kun!” The pale-haired idol flushed and said, “Whatever. Hey, Ko, give him your present now.” This had Kensuke bouncing in his seat, “Yeah! I want to see Ko’s mysterious special present!”

 

Smiling, Koki handed Mamoru a rectangular package. “I wanted to give you something special, so I had a bit of help making this. I hope you like it,” the leader explained, a hesitant smile on his face. “If it’s from Ko-kun, I’ll definitely treasure it!” He carefully removed the ribbon and the paper, a revealing a book. “A photo album?” he wondered, looking up at the blond, who simply said, “Open it.”

Slowly flipping the cover of the album open, Mamoru’s hand froze over the first picture, eyes going wide in shock. Peering curiously over his shoulder, Kensuke said, “Oh, that couple looks happy; their wedding day, huh?” Ryota hummed. “Mamoru, who are these people? Mamoru…?”

_Splash._

A tear fell on the picture, followed by others slowly splashing onto the pages of the album, as Mamoru rapidly flicked through it, eyes taking in every picture. Hands shaking, he hugged the album to his chest and looked at Koki, tears streaming down his face. “How…? How did you….?”

Koki looked a bit uncomfortable as he explained. “You said once that you didn’t have anything of your family; so I asked my mother if she could find any of your parents’ friends. The album was compiled using the few pictures they had of them. I’m sorry if I hurt you…..”

 

Mamoru shook his head vigorously, a blinding smile on his face, his happiness at the one memento he now had of his parents shining in his eyes despite the sparkling tears.

 

“Thank you so much, Ko-kun! I’ll always treasure this!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Mamoru.”

The composer looked back at the call of his name, Koki inviting him into his room. Once he was seated on the bed, he looked curiously at the leader, who actually seemed a little flustered. “Ko-kun? What is it?” A small box was held in front of him as an answer. Accepting the present, he said, “You already got me a present, Ko-kun; you didn’t have to give me another.”

The other simply shook his head. “This has a different meaning.” Blinking at this,  Mamoru turned his attention to the box. _‘A different meaning….? Oh, a music box!’_ he was pleasantly surprised, as he picked it up out of the box. Holding it up against the light, he exclaimed, “Uwaah! It looks so pretty!” It was truly a beautiful piece, made in silver with delicate designs on it and little colored gems embedded in the metal. Winding it up, Mamoru waited expectantly for the song to play.

_‘Eh? This is….?’_

“My Gloria.” Turning at the sound of the other’s voice, Mamoru found Koki staring at him intensely. “It was the song that led me to you, on that day. I’m grateful for the fact that I followed your song, because it was you that brought us, brought me to this place.” He took a deep breath. “That’s why, I thought this song was the most fitting.”

“Most fitting..? Eh? Ko-kun?” Mamoru looked confused as Koki placed his hands on his cheeks, cradling his face gently. “Mamoru, I love you. No matter happens, I’ll always love you. I don’t expect you to give me an answer; I just—“ He was cut off as the composer leant into him, hiding his burning face in his shoulder. “Don’t say that! I never thought you’d feel this way towards me; I thought….” He trailed of, unable to continue.

“Mamoru? Does that mean…?”

The older idol raised his head, tears trailing down his face, cheeks flushed as a brilliant smile lit up his eyes.

“I’ve always loved you, Ko-kun.”

A smile lit up Koki’s face, making his features seem more handsome than ever. He leaned in, “May I…?” The other blushed bright red, before nodding hesitantly. Their lips met gently, muting out the rest of the world, making it seem as though it was only the two of them. After what seemed like an eternity, they broke apart. They stared into each other’s eyes for a bit, before Mamoru broke the contact, hiding his burning face again in Koki’s chest.

The other chuckled, wrapping his arms around Mamoru in a warm hug. “Will you stay here with me tonight? Just this once,” Koki asked quietly. His answer was a tightening of the other’s arms around him and a whispered, “Always.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Ne, Ryo.”

“What is it?”

“These two look rather cute right now, don’t they?”

 

Kensuke and Ryota stared at the pair cuddled up on Koki’s bed, having come to look for them after neither Koki nor Mamoru turned up for breakfast. Looking at the sleeping couple’s peaceful expressions and content smiles, he replied,

 

“Yeah, they do.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone~  
> I originally intended to post this for Mamoru's birthday, but RL messed up my schedule and here it is a week late ^-^;
> 
> On a side note, I've opened a blog on Tumblr, where I'll take prompts for Tsukiuta and Tsukipro; if you're interested, please find me at [cyon-tsuki-writings](https://cyon-tsuki-writings.tumblr.com/)


End file.
